China~ the cat

“She’s needy”, “she won’t shut up”, “won’t you take her?”  had been repeated like a mantra for a few years.  It was 7 years ago when I went to the pet store, got everything I needed, and said upon leaving, “If you want me to take China, I will.”

In the car during the 12 hour drive this cat seemed defeated and I don’t think the grueling trip was the only damper.  I’d removed her from where another cat ruled the roost, a real bruiser’s home.  Shouldering China out of her food, snubbing her at every chance that she could.  This other cat had been an alpha cat in size, as well as in power, and we were fleeing that situation.

I’ve always said to China, “It’s your path” please be clear and I’ll steward to the best of my ability. What else can one do as a human in charge of an animal?  It seems like such an immense task.  So huge to think that I will serve this tiny soul in any way it needs.  We are all so damn vulnerable, what gives me the power to take responsibility of this stewardship? Making the decisions for a wild instinctual animal, being the one calling the shots from the domestic side? What right does anyone have? In a way, non of it makes sense to me.  It really doesn’t.  And there is that other side. The love side.  That cup of love, may it runneth over, spilling through the unconditional into infinity.

One of the first nights that I had China at my house, she had a sleep walking nightmare where she was literally crying one long howl, as she physically trotted toward me, she jolted herself awake.  She looked surprised to see me. I’d not seen a cat sleep walk like that before.  I was super concerned and wanted to catch her out of the otherworldly hell from which she ran.  She wouldn’t let me.  A quick shake out of it, then she went over to go back to sleep in her bed. Back to an “offish” behavior.  She wouldn’t let me comfort her.  She was working it out on her own.

Once in those very early days, while a client sat at the kitchen counter, the cat would not stop meowing.  The woman said in the most loving tone, “She’s a real talker, isn’t she?”.  The minute my client’s words were voiced, China silenced her outcry.  It was as if she had been given consent and that was all that was needed.   She was a real talker, and when she was acknowledged for it, she immediately calmed down.  No power play needed.  Peace was had.

It took quite a while for her to break down an exact one foot space in which she cocooned around herself.  No cuddles, no connection without the space in between.  When I scooched in on her distance, she would move away from me the exact same latitude.  Her insistence on the border was willful and gentle.  I had to let her have it. As much as I was comparing her to my last cat and wanting to snuggle,  I continued to send connection through the twelve inches of ether.  One day, which seemed to be about a year mark, the boundary instantly disappeared. This cat who insisted upon the space between us, took on a new behavior.  Noticeably, from connecting through one foot of space to laying on my limbs, my stomach, or my chest. China balancing in her pose, as I shifted an adjustment under her feather weight.  Quiet times, she’d pull in her claws and pet my hand or arm with her paw.  Reading the signs, I had passed her trust test.  It took some time and it happened in an instant. We were a unit.  Eye stare requests brought her into the cradle of my arms while the purr entrained rhythm vibrated through our hearts.  Many conversations, head butts, and pressing accupressure points were had while mornings unfolded. She was a little one. A gentle one.

Photo credit: Maryann Cord

China always greeted guests.  Never have I known such a social cat.  A real welcome wagon. Jumping up as I’d offer her my seat while tea brewed.  At the counter China took her station, which is whatever chair I’d given up to her.  China loved everyone and everyone loved China. We didn’t have to, but we’d always include this little one in the conversation.  China has been a big part of the party.  She just is/was.

Tough strokes of the wire bristle side of the brush help in the spring shed to prevent hairballs while she leans into the brush with all of her might seeming to say, “o.k. go for it as hard as you can”.   She was super tough for being so delicate.

Eileen is China’s surrigate mother.  China had Eileen wrapped completley around her itty bitty claw.  Eileen knows exactly where the brush is kept and rarely deviates from protocol as she brushes China during our visits.  If the brushing were clocked, I imagine it would mark many hours, maybe even days.  A dainty stroke invited China to put away the tough side and to luxuriate, just to chill.   China knows this.  Eileen knows this.  And that is the way it has been. Being the human caretaker when I’m gone, there is that immense responsibility thing again, I leave saying, what ever happens is China’s path…don’t worry.  Big time test for Eileen by China staying out all day, no where to be found.  When you are the cat sitter, this is such a worry not wanting to leave the cat out in the wild.  A bratty move on the cat’s part.  China most likely watching from her hiding place, close in.  This could be so frustrating.  And with Eileen, China has always been forgiven.  She just has been.

Another of China’s loves is Tara.  She’s got a natural cat whisperer streak, plus as a nurse by trade has been the stand in vet when anything gets out of balance health wise.  China just melts into Tara’s assuredness seeming relieved and saying, “Finally! Someone who knows what they are doing.”  Such cool events that China brought in.  Like the time that our healing circle met here after usually holding it at Tara’s studio.  7 of us sitting in a ring on the floor, China asleep up on the bed.  Toward the end of the gathering we said, “let’s send Tara the healing since she’s on the road”.  At that point, China jumped out of her deep slumber, plopped down right in the middle of the circle almost saying, “Did you say ‘Tara’?  I’m here for her, I love Tara”.   The “Life on China’s terms.” Tara.

And Peggy, another pet speaker in China’s life.  Nothing like giving her the best cat vibes any cat whisperer can give. Plus, along with all of the positive vibes from “LaCerra”, China has had some great photos taken, healing done, capturing, calming, massaging….whatever China wants, Peggy knows, and China gets.  And she gets it with a bonafide scientifically factual backed up thesis and break down.

China waiting to change the radiator

This story tells what happened the day the above photo was taken: Article in Spirituality and Health

All of those early years, when Donna, just scooped up China, and talked to her. Pure love welcoming her into her new life.  Demonstrating what my friends offer best.  There is no “out” with some nurturing.   China knew this from Donna.  Just melting into the care of her nature.

The many cat stories that have been in the short time with this spirit!

The 18 foot ladder that it took to get her out of the oak, long after the coyote gone.  So many coyote stories~ The neighbor witnessing China’s way too near escape as she scurried up a tree. That bear that shuffled by the window sounding like a horse in slippers, at the same time, China instinctually jolting out of a dead sleep in order to run and jump at the screen to protect our territory. How would a tiny cat can protect from a huge bear?  China just did.

Being surrounded by wild, here China began a few years ago to want out in the early morning.  In the beginning this was a hard “no”.  Here is this sweet little one that I am not going to put into danger.  Nature is not for the meek. Not for the domestic. Not for China. It’s been really hard to not let her go out in those early morning hours while her itty bitty body throws all of her weight at the door trying to get it to budge open. So little by little, over the past few years, China has had the privilege of being part of the wild mornings as they break to daylight.  “Life on her terms” like Tara said.

Photo credit: Peggy LaCerra

I’m leaving this story open here.  And I do realize my tense usage in this story is all over the place.

7 years and one week to the day that China arrived here,  (June 7, 2024 6:05 am) she was attacked by a bobcat and immediately ran away.  I will continue this story, because there is so much more to say.  I wanted my community to know what was going on today, day 6 since having seen China.  And I wanted to call out for community to please send that little one some good juju for her journey.

And to thank my friends with such love, who’ve helped me so much to steward China’s life here with us.  This little one has definitely touched the village.

From the near and the daily, out to the far and occasional, I bow deeply to you with gratitude.

Man…..she sure fed/feeds us all so well, didn’t/doesn’t she?!

“See you in a minute little one”